welcome ♡

Verse of the Day:

my journal ♡

[October 7, 2022]

Mood: happy

these videos?? are amazing oh my goodness, prosekai keeps on raising the bar 😭

[October 2, 2022]

Mood: sleepy

what do you do when God calls you to do something that scares you?

i am usually a pretty logical person, which means that i tend to go with the option that makes the most sense and has the best probability of working out, aka, what my mind has calculated to be the safest option. the option that i can easily plan out the path to, the one that has the highest chance of success, etc. i don’t really get or do the whole taking big risks thing or the hyper-positive “follow your passions! dream big!” stuff.

i know this isn’t the best thing for me, and that i need to be a lot more open to options and instead of analyzing them over and over again, simply following where God leads me. but this is a lot easier said than done for me.

especially in today’s world, it seems like taking big risks can be so utterly disastrous. and i’m a “doom thinker,” trying to always think of what could happen if everything went totally wrong, so that gets magnified in my head to a big extent.

but back to the original question. i feel that God is calling me to do something that goes against my logic completely. it is by no means the safest option, it has a decently high chance of failure, and it’s tough. it’d probably be a difficult, long path. but, it’s what i keep on feeling that i’m getting called to.

that terrifies me.

i don’t like failure or difficult pathways. and i mean, who does? but, what if i’m going to miss out on so much more if i don’t take this opportunity? but then, what if i do and i fail horribly? maybe i really should be asking:

what if I just trust God? stop looking at the stats and instead try to discern God’s will for my life? if i stop overanalyzing and take a leap for once?

and, well, what if it works?

[October 1, 2022]

Mood: happy october!


[September 26, 2022]

Mood: ehehe

yeahh the eng prosekai server has brithday cards and trust rank now!! i love all of the birthday cards sm ahdjdjsc i am ~ready~

[September 25, 2022]

Mood: yeah

one of these things is not like the others....😭

[September 21, 2022]

Mood: good

happy fall!! it rained a tonnn today, and it was a little scary, but i love rainy days so it wasn't a horrible experience lol

also!! i've officially had this website for a year! so weird to think about how quickly that time has passed. this has geniunely been a good outlet to just let my thoughts out and post things like my art, and i hope to continue doing so :D

[September 19, 2022]

Mood: monday

there's such a big battle going on in my head about choosing to go into a realistic and much more attainable field of work orrr the field of my dreams but one that is much, much more difficult to actually get into and make a living in.

i know in the end, though, that God has a good plan for me. and maybe He's also trying to tell me that the safe option isn't always the best option, since i've been absolutely horrible about picking what feels safe and comfortable over what might be actually better for me (whoops). sometimes you need to take risks but at the same time,, what if this isn't the time to take a risk?

i think all i know right now is i'm tired of all the pressure to figure this stuff out lol

(which means yeah i need to just give this to Jesus and let Him lead me-)

[September 15, 2022]

Mood: tireddd

my teacher after seeing that i did an entire analysis on a Mitski song:

[August 30, 2022]

Mood: excited

it's here!! i will probably begin reading it tomorrow :)

[August 27, 2022]

Mood: woot

rui's cover of showtime ruler is so,,,,chefs kiss

that and his cover of as you like it i am listening on REPEAT

[August 23, 2022]

Mood: always sleepy

studying and listening to calming music and then hearing DJ KHALED on an ad was a horrifying experience 😭

[August 14, 2022]

Mood: still sleepy

incredibly tired of people acting like Christians are somehow ignorant, dumb, etc. simply because we're Christians :/ that’s all.

[August 12, 2022]

Mood: sleepy

so glad that airi has taken over the events 💖

[August 6, 2022]

Mood: okay

watched the first couple of episodes of spy x family! definitely a little late lol but i think the storyline is interesting and i can definitely see why it's so popular :)

[August 5, 2022]

Mood: fine

trying to tell friends and people in general about the Gospel can be scary, honestly. there's a million ways the conversation could go and you, of course, can't control what happens. but, i think of it this way -- what if i'm the only person who shows them the love of Jesus in their life?

and that doesn't go only for the Gospel message, if that makes sense, since we want to show everyone God's love through our words and actions. maybe it should be rephrased like this -- what if i'm the only person who tells them about Jesus in their entire life?

i mean, sure, there could be other people later on. but what if there's not? and then what?

of course, there's no forcing anyone to have these conversations or to come to Jesus; we don't need to be doing that. the other person needs to want to have this conversation. but if you're a Christian, think about all the wonderful, amazing, life-changing things that Jesus has done for you. why wouldn't you want to share that with someone you care about?

[July 30, 2022]

Mood: rui kamishiro

rui. just rui

[July 29, 2022]

Mood: in anticipation

aaaa the sequel to six crimson cranes is so close to coming out!! six crimson cranes (by elizabeth lim!) was such a great book and i need to know what happens next djjdsk

(update! i preordered it on amazon and it can come on the release date :D why did i not know you could do that before-)

[July 26, 2022]

Mood: happy

i don't know who needs to hear this but as Christians it is okay to admit that we might still have struggles with our mental health, temptation, etc!! we are not perfect and this world isn't either, which means that life isn't going to be perfect for anyone. and it's fine to admit this instead of trying to act like we never have any problems!

the difference, though, is that we have Jesus to get us through our mental health battles, when we are tempted, etc. when we are weak, He is strong, but we have to admit that we are weak and can't do it ourselves first.

(this is just sort of a rambling oops but i felt like it needed to be said)

[July 12, 2022]

Mood: amazed

WOW oh my goodness,, the webb telescope images are beautiful!! it amazes me that we have this kind of technology to do this, and i can't wait for all the discoveries that are gonna come from this!! God's creation is so wonderful :)


so you know those ~classic~ classroom posters that say something like "think before you speak! is it..." and then usually have some kind of acronym following them? (not gonna lie, they aren't bad advice-) well, there's something in the Bible that reminds me of those a little, and it's Philippians 4:8!

the text (NLT version) says: “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

i think it's a really good mental check, to take every thought captive like 2 Corinthians 10:5 says to do. we can think, okay, is this thought (or just my thoughts in general) true? is it pure and right? and so on and so forth. i do struggle keeping not good things, like non-clean songs for example, out of my head, but i think that asking this and testing my thoughts can help with that!

[July 10, 2022]

Mood: thinks

hmmmmm the strawberry cow pillow pet is in stock....hmmm....interesting...

[June 28, 2022]

Mood: alright

hello! i haven't put them on yet (or done a final top coat, lol) but some my melody nails i made!! (also featuring my sweet piano!) they aren't super fancy or perfect but i was just glad i figured out how to use the stickers and gems :)

[June 27, 2022]

Mood: thinking

[June 24, 2022]

Mood: hngrh

sakura miku

[June 22, 2022]

Mood: sleep

hello! so to get right into it this is just a list of my favorite mushroom species!! there's so so many cool ones out there and i think it's just a reminder of how unique God's creation is :) i'll probably do a little list like this for flowers too! well, in no particular order...

  1. rhodotus palmatus - very pink and very spongy! i also find it very interesting that light color and intensity can affect its appearance.
  2. fly agaric - a very classic red and white mushroom! but also poisonous!
  3. ghost fungus - i love anything that's bioluminescent, which includes this fungus! also interesting how it is parasitic.
  4. golden trumpets - they're just little orange guys and i respect that
  5. black helvella - goths. but in all seriousness they're actually a pretty varied species, although i believe they mainly have black caps and gray stalks.
  6. purple club coral - i really just like any pretty colored mushroom huh,, actually all coral mushrooms (like carmine coral) would be on this list, just look at em
  7. apricot jelly mushroom - more colors!! apparently used to make "a kind of mushroom candy".
  8. bird's nest fungus - the weirdest thing and i love them!! there's also other bird's nest genera that are similar, which means there's somehow more variations of this.
  9. parrot waxcap - it changes color! it starts out a deep emerald green shade, and as it matures, it goes yellow or sometimes pinkish.
  10. (p.s. there's sooo much more i could put on this list,,)

[June 20, 2022]

Mood: joyful

so a lot of people use 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a as something to measure up to - e.g., replace "love" with your name and think about if you're really patient, not proud, etc. and i think that's a good way to look at it!! we are encouraged to show love, and these things are what love is and therefore how we should show it. but, i think there's another interesting way to look at it!

the Bible tells us that God *is* love (see 1 John 4:8, 16b). so, i think that this also shows us that, because God is love, these are attributes of His, too. for example, God is patient and kind, doesn't keep a record of our wrongs, protects us, and so much more according to this passage. i just think that's a really neat parallel and a reminder of just how good and wonderful God is.

oh, and most importantly -- verse 8a says, "love never fails." and God will never fail.

p.s.! if you're wondering what i'm talking about, this is always here if you want to learn about Jesus. thanks for being here!!

[June 19, 2022]

Mood: fine

the urge to make a second ita is strong......

(if i do cave and make another one i'll post about it!! my first one is a jjba part 5 one and i definitely didn't do it "properly" or whatever lol but it was so much fun..............)

[June 13, 2022]

Mood: asdnfhfj

hello! sooo long story short here's a very easy method for painting fake nails, especially if polish always seems to get everywhere when you do your nails (i know mine does T-T). if you're not planning on putting your fake nails on immediately/want to save them for later, this works great and isn't messy!!(may post pictures later)

you need: 1 q-tip per nail, nail polish, normal tape, paper towels, scissors (optional, to cut the tape)

  1. cut off a short piece of tape and roll it up. place it on one of the little cottony parts of one q-tip, and then gently place the fake nail on it. make sure the top part is not touching anything, including the tape!
  2. get out your polish and paint over the nail like usual. what's really nice is that the tape "lifts" it a little and you can paint messily!
  3. cut off a longer piece of tape and place it on the stick part of the q-tip. then tape it to the paper towel! the nail should be straight up and touching nothing so that the polish stays even and clean.
  4. repeat with all the other nails.
  5. let them completely dry or wait till you're ready to use them, then carefully peel them off of the tape. they're ready to use!

[June 10, 2022]

Mood: sleepy

reading through Psalms is so interesting because it's, well, beautiful poetry but also the things happening in it are still so relatable and stand true today. the authors talk about grief, sorrow, pain, and how they feel like evil is prevailing in the world, but also about the joys of life, how God rescues them and wins over that evil, and the beauty of His creation. so many of the feelings they discuss are definitely still ones that we have today.

it makes me think of how God wants us to take everything to Him, even if it's angry or confused or sorrowful, and that it's okay to not be super joyful alll the time. we can tell God both our sorrows and our joys, and He will be right there with us. i know i'm probably saying about a million things at once, but i think it all boils down to this: praise the Lord!

[June 9, 2022]

Mood: fine

watching a concerning amount of kbeauty youtubers. how are they so good???

and now its time to watch this (cinnamoroll vibe) for the 1837524289th time

[June 9, 2022]

Mood: fine

hello! this is where all my blog posts for strxwbrrymilk on neocities will now be, instead of on the individual pages of my main site and google docs, which is still in use but just for the home page/art page/collections page. here's all my past articles!! (note: these will take you to google docs.)

Balancing Your To-do List *and* Your Mental Health - getting what needs to get done, done, but checking your mental health.

What Can You Expect in Therapy? - how a typical therapy visit may go, if you're not sure how.

The Power of Positive Affirmations - what are positive affirmations and how can you use them?

Emotional Awareness - learning how to recognize and handle your emotions is an incredibly helpful skill.

Making a Sensory Kit - ideas for what to put in a sensory kit for sensory overload!

Learning Patience (In a Fast-Paced World) - how can we learn patience?

Being Impatient for Stone Ocean Anime - masterdoc for all things about Stone Ocean!

Shiroi Suna no Aquatope Review! - first lil anime review :3

bruno bucciarati - bruno bucciarati

About Me! - first article!! just some info about me and my interests.

Studying Resources! - some websites/apps that are good for studying. (updated with more!)

Lash Glue Alternatives: How They Measure Up - three alternatives to traditional lashes + lash glue, and what i thought of them.

Internet Privacy - have we lost anonymity on the internet?

All Things Sewing! - a masterdoc of sewing projects.

School Shouldn't be so Stressful: A Rant - a rant (and some encouragement).

Kiss Adhesive Tab Nails Review! (And How-To) - press-on nail review (without glue) and some tips.

"A Fair and Free Internet" - my opinions on what a fair and free internet really looks like.

A Compilation of All the Paper Cranes I Have Ever Made - ...yeah

aesthetics i thoroughly enjoy - m aesthetic

Free Online Reading Resources - sites and apps with audiobooks, e-books, etc. (with Bible resources and different language/international resources as well)

Thoughts on Exams/Finals - just a blurb about final exams and a few tips i like.

How Can I Be a Bold Christian? - my thoughts on being bold for Christ.

From a Christian Perspective: Rest - the Biblical concept of rest and how it's different from our world's concept.

God's Wonderful Creation - thoughts on God's amazing creation!

Planning for the Future? From a Christian Perspective - future planning seen Biblically.

Advent 2021: Week 1 - reflections for the first week of Advent.

Advent 2021: Week 2 - second week of Advent reflections.

Communion (Etymology Series) - how the meaning of the word communion and the sacrament of communion connect.

We Don't Have to Do This Alone - short post on how God is always with us!

Romans 12 Study - an in-depth study on Romans chapter 12.